In light of the New Year and this upcoming weekend, we all might experience the aftermath of a night out. Just remember, drinking responsibly is the smartest option to avoid a hangover. Funny thing about people: sometimes we’re dumb.
Here are the 9 types of hangovers you could end up with tomorrow morning:
1. Still Partying—Wait a minute, you were up late drinking late night but now you feel great? Hey, you’re still drunk! All you really want to do is grab some breakfast celebrate how awesome you are. Just remember: you’re going to sober up sooner or later. Be prepared for the 2pm hangover.
2. The Bottle Flu—It’s Sunday morning, but the only praying you’re doing is to the porcelain god. The meaning of a “flu shot” had changed dramatically.
3. Head banger—Did you repeatedly slam your head against the wall last night, or was that the Vodka? Honestly, it could be both. Sadly, there’s no cure for this except better decisions and Advil.
4. Emotionally Sick—So things got out of hand last night, huh? You made out with a not-so-hot stranger. Maybe you fought with you significant other. Whatever you did, guilt and regret are way worse than any physical damage. The tequila can leave your system, but you can’t throw up your feelings.
5. The Hunger Games—Waffles, eggs, sausage, pop tarts, bacon, literally anything sounds delicious right now. The only problem: you can’t eat any of it. Your brain is starving, but your stomach just isn’t having it.
6. The Thirst that can’t be quenched—It’s like you’re lost in the desert and think you see an oasis in the distance. No matter how hard to try, you can never reach it. You should have drunk that water before bed when it mattered, you thirsty idiot.
7. The party continues—You’re a bit hung over. But that’s nothing a beer or Bloody Mary can’t fix. A common college saying: “You can’t get hung over if you don’t stop drinking.” It’s unhealthy, irresponsible, and totally worth trying a few times.
8. The miracle—The universe works in mysterious ways. Why it’s in your favor is a mystery. Just be thankful you survived the explosion of last night without a scratch.
9. Near Death—On the other hand, the universe can also turn on you. This type of hangover includes symptoms in numbers 2 through 6, and creates a storm of death. Wait- is that the light at the end of the tunnel? No stupid, it’s just the sun shining in through your bedroom window. You might feel sick and have some regrets, but chances are, you’re going out again tonight. Because a rough morning beats a boring night.
The Growing Up Experiment 