What Type of Hangover do you Have?

In light of the New Year and this upcoming weekend, we all might experience the aftermath of a night out.  Just remember, drinking responsibly is the smartest option to avoid a hangover.  Funny thing about people: sometimes we’re dumb. 

 Here are the 9 types of hangovers you could end up with tomorrow morning: 

 

1.  Still Partying—Wait a minute, you were up late drinking late night but now you feel great?  Hey, you’re still drunk!  All you really want to do is grab some breakfast celebrate how awesome you are.  Just remember: you’re going to sober up sooner or later.  Be prepared for the 2pm hangover. 

2.  The Bottle Flu—It’s Sunday morning, but the only praying you’re doing is to the porcelain god. The meaning of a “flu shot” had changed dramatically. 

3.  Head banger—Did you repeatedly slam your head against the wall last night, or was that the Vodka? Honestly, it could be both. Sadly, there’s no cure for this except better decisions and Advil. 

4.  Emotionally Sick—So things got out of hand last night, huh?  You made out with a not-so-hot stranger.  Maybe you fought with you significant other.  Whatever you did, guilt and regret are way worse than any physical damage.  The tequila can leave your system, but you can’t throw up your feelings. 

5.  The Hunger Games—Waffles, eggs, sausage, pop tarts, bacon, literally anything sounds delicious right now.  The only problem: you can’t eat any of it.  Your brain is starving, but your stomach just isn’t having it.  

6.  The Thirst that can’t be quenched—It’s like you’re lost in the desert and think you see an oasis in the distance.  No matter how hard to try, you can never reach it.  You should have drunk that water before bed when it mattered, you thirsty idiot.

7.  The party continues—You’re a bit hung over.  But that’s nothing a beer or Bloody Mary can’t fix.  A common college saying: “You can’t get hung over if you don’t stop drinking.”  It’s unhealthy, irresponsible, and totally worth trying a few times.

8.  The miracle—The universe works in mysterious ways.  Why it’s in your favor is a mystery.  Just be thankful you survived the explosion of last night without a scratch. 

9.  Near Death—On the other hand, the universe can also turn on you.  This type of hangover includes symptoms in numbers 2 through 6, and creates a storm of death.  Wait- is that the light at the end of the tunnel?  No stupid, it’s just the sun shining in through your bedroom window.  You might feel sick and have some regrets, but chances are, you’re going out again tonight.  Because a rough morning beats a boring night. 

10 Reasons to have an extra glass of wine at Christmas

The holidays are officially here and it’s off to Grandmother’s house we go.  We all love our families but sometimes you need a little help coping with their extra…characteristics.  Here are some excuses to pour yourself an extra glass (or ten) at your next get-together:

 

1.  Jesus drank wine—Apparently, that dude loved the stuff…what better way to celebrate Christmas than by pouring yourself some?

2.  You’re at your in-laws/significant other—Maybe you love spending time with them and maybe you don’t.  Either way, it can be a bit nerve-racking at times.  Especially if you’re meeting the whole family for the first time

3.  “When are you and _____ getting engaged?”—If this doesn’t apply to you, you might have some different questions to deal with.  Are you seeing anyone?  Why are you still single?  Do you think you’ll die alone?  Okay, I’m kidding about the last one, but it can get to be a real problem.  It’s hard to answer these questions for them when you’re asking yourself the same ones. 

4.  You’ve been asked, “How’s work/school?” for the hundredth time—It’s hard to tell the difference between a pleasantry and true interest.  Either way, respond nicely.  They just care about you. 

5.  Religion is being discussed—Many people might be the same denomination, but it can get a bit uncomfortable when there are disagreements.  This is the time of year to get along with one another…It’s probably best to keep controversial topics to a minimum.

6.  Someone is on a political rant—Peace has a kryptonite.  It’s called getting in a political argument with your drunk uncle.  As tempting as it might be, never ever fall into that trap.  You’ll always walk away clawed-up and pissed off. 

7.  There are children everywhere—There is so much crying, whining, and fighting going on, you can hardly hear yourself think…and that’s just at the adult table.  On top of that, there are screaming kids running around.  The plus side: they can be hilarious.  They also draw the attention away from you so you can drink peacefully in the corner. 

8.  Your uncle is telling inappropriate jokes—I don’t know if I’m grossed out, or loving every minute of it.  Either way, I’m going to need a refill.

9.  Your cousin is an overachiever—We all have that cousin who is smart, accomplished, and makes the rest of us look like blind, drooling cavemen.  

10.  The slow realization that they’re all nuts—As the years go by, this inevitable fact dawns on you.  There’s not a single normal person in the family, and I’ll drink to that. 

 

Cheers & Happy Holidays