The holidays are officially here and it’s off to Grandmother’s house we go. We all love our families but sometimes you need a little help coping with their extra…characteristics. Here are some excuses to pour yourself an extra glass (or ten) at your next get-together:
1. Jesus drank wine—Apparently, that dude loved the stuff…what better way to celebrate Christmas than by pouring yourself some?
2. You’re at your in-laws/significant other—Maybe you love spending time with them and maybe you don’t. Either way, it can be a bit nerve-racking at times. Especially if you’re meeting the whole family for the first time
3. “When are you and _____ getting engaged?”—If this doesn’t apply to you, you might have some different questions to deal with. Are you seeing anyone? Why are you still single? Do you think you’ll die alone? Okay, I’m kidding about the last one, but it can get to be a real problem. It’s hard to answer these questions for them when you’re asking yourself the same ones.
4. You’ve been asked, “How’s work/school?” for the hundredth time—It’s hard to tell the difference between a pleasantry and true interest. Either way, respond nicely. They just care about you.
5. Religion is being discussed—Many people might be the same denomination, but it can get a bit uncomfortable when there are disagreements. This is the time of year to get along with one another…It’s probably best to keep controversial topics to a minimum.
6. Someone is on a political rant—Peace has a kryptonite. It’s called getting in a political argument with your drunk uncle. As tempting as it might be, never ever fall into that trap. You’ll always walk away clawed-up and pissed off.
7. There are children everywhere—There is so much crying, whining, and fighting going on, you can hardly hear yourself think…and that’s just at the adult table. On top of that, there are screaming kids running around. The plus side: they can be hilarious. They also draw the attention away from you so you can drink peacefully in the corner.
8. Your uncle is telling inappropriate jokes—I don’t know if I’m grossed out, or loving every minute of it. Either way, I’m going to need a refill.
9. Your cousin is an overachiever—We all have that cousin who is smart, accomplished, and makes the rest of us look like blind, drooling cavemen.
10. The slow realization that they’re all nuts—As the years go by, this inevitable fact dawns on you. There’s not a single normal person in the family, and I’ll drink to that.
Cheers & Happy Holidays
The Growing Up Experiment 